I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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