Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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