Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
