youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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