your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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