Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
