Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.

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(347): View more from New York

Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"

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(661): View more from California

I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees

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(912): View more from Georgia

He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Twice...

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.

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