My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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