I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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