The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize