i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
