Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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