in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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