I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
