Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
is wine microwaveable?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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