walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
