He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I have post one night stand depression
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