Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I need to align my fucking chakras
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
