your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
