Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
