What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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