I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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