New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
