Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
