The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
if only i could text you this smell
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
