they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Randomize
