I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
