I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
