thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
