sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
