So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize