girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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