im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
