I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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