i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
