I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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