filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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