i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize