mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
