Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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