weddingsv make me drug and hornr
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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