Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
