you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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