That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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