I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
