It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
