Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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