don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
