I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she peed on how many people?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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