getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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