your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
