i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
