The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
