and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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