ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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