No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize