it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize