i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
