Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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